The Past Can Still Haunt You

The past, no matter how we try to bury the hatchet can still show itself on our present. There are memories you could not forget. Lesson you learned the hard way that keep on popping underneath your nose. And hurtful relationships that haunt you even during these days when you thought you have moved on.

Why am I saying this? Because no matter how hard I try to convince myself that "we're finally separated", I realized that I could not honestly detach myself from him. I hate myself now for writing this blog but realizations should be faced.

I realized that I will never have the chance to talk to him and sort out the problems. Our relationship never ended the right way. One moment its eternal bliss...and POP! It is gone. I wish we could have said our goodbyes because things will be easier that way.

Don't get me wrong, I am no longer looking forward to reconciliation. But the feeling that something never ended but disappeared could haunt me badly. It is like looking for your missing ring without knowing if its completely lost or just somewhere hidden inside the house. You continuously search for it and even waited hard enough before it shows up. But will it ever show up? Can you move on when you have an unfinished business from your past?

This could have been a good day for me if I wasn't too emotional. I was talking with my mentor awhile ago when tears finally poured on my face. To worsen the situation, we are in the middle of a damn crowd! I didn't know what happened or why I even started crying. But one thing is for sure, I have to fight hard not to be tempted with my past again.