Catching Happiness Again

I am going through some sort of a "battle" right now. Its because I've chose to end up something, so I could get my self-esteem back. Its not as if I'm the worse person when it comes to "tolerance". In fact, I could wait for long hours without complaining, would run a mile without saying something "stupid" about the experience, or even do something that makes me sick without anyone getting a clue of my disgust. I don't complain, which could sometimes work for my disadvantage. 

So you see, I was doing something for almost 2 months. Things started fine only to realize that it would suddenly rob my self-esteem. Complains here and there, without a concrete basis of the claim. I don't want to go through the whole details because I refuse to let this experience affect me again. But in the end I realize that I could no longer stay because staying means feeling down all day, thinking what the heck happened to me, and hearing all sorts of disappointments. 

So I left. I left without thinking what will happen to me. I just blindly followed what my heart tells me (after years of refusing to follow my poor heart). Boy, my mind refused to give up so it suddenly start thinking of all sorts of ideas that honestly frighten me. But my heart, my heart is doing fine in telling me that I made the right choice. I am happier now, I guess. I am happier as I catch my self-esteem back, as I catch my happiness back. I will be fine, I promise. After all, I have a sturdy friend to lean on. 

Hail to Sec. Jesse

Much have been said about the man. And for me, Sec. Jesse personifies the teaching that "the humble shall be exalted". He was able to put up a simple life, despite the great call for fame. He leads, but follows. Having reached the pinnacle of success, he still finds joys in simple thing--his family.

A great man deserves great respect, so the JCI hold a simple tribute to a great man, who is also a former Jaycee. It was a humbling experience to go to his wake. You could watch a crowd of people, in all ages, trying to get the chance to go near Sec. Jesse's remains. None of them complained about staying long in lines because all were eager to give their final tribute.

Maybe all was God's plan.  Maybe Sec. Jesse suffered a controversial death because its the only way for us to look back and realize the lessons that the man taught us all. Maybe its his way to touch lives even after he earned his wings, something that he always did when we was still alive. Maybe his death was God's way of showing us how good it is to be able to change lives. Maybe its a way for us to realize that there's still hope. Maybe we are taught about the beauty of believing and believing more. And maybe he wants us to remember that no good deed is ever forgotten.

For the inspiration, thanks Sec. Jesse.

5 Things I Learned When Getting a Massage

My life revolves around family and work. In rare instances, I get to go out with friends. But most of the time I am in front of the computer working, tending over the kids, or looking over obligations that need to be done before another set of work piles up.  I am contended living this way, actually, I enjoy it (you could raise your eyebrows now).

I believe I have loads of obligations on my shoulders, so I have to constantly seek for that "balance".So what I do is to get myself a massage each week to feel renewed and strengthened, and boy it does its work well.  I have tried loads of establishments here offering their holy grail, from those small scale establishment to those offering their service for quite a hefty price. And here's what I learn from all this jumping-from-one-shop-to-another:

1. An expensive spa does not always guarantee good service. Everything will still boil down to that person working on you.

2. Going for those blind massage services is good, but sometimes they talk  a lot. This is not a problem if you're up for a nice conversation though.

3. Sanitation check: watch out for the linens!

4. A tip is necessary, because most of them are underpaid.

5. Always discuss with the masseuse about the type of massage you are up for. For me, I personally hate working on pressure points. So voice out your concern.

Caffeine Craze

The blog title is an irony of what I am going to discuss here.

Since the day I was diagnosed with Premature Ventricular Contraction, I had to limit my caffeine consumption. But its not as if I was delving on caffeine all my life. In fact, I could count with my fingers the numbers of times I drank coffee, soft drinks, tea, or anything with caffeine. 

If there's a case like "highly sensitive to caffeine", I should belong there because yesterday is another chronicle to the long list of events when I felt "not okey" because of caffeine. 

So it should be a regular day for fetching the kids not until I decided to grab a can of those readily available mocha mixes you'll find at the grocery store (no naming names here). I was already suffering from headache and nausea when my stupid self decided to grab something to drink again just to erase the thought that I drank something that's not good for me. Guess what I got? Milk Tea (another shot of caffeine!). 

I had to literally stop the urge to vom*t while we're at the mall last night. I had a bad sleep. My head's in a race.  Up to this morning, I have this terribly terrible headache.